As Time Goes By
by garretelliot
Summary: Is a kiss really just a kiss?
1. Chapter 1

**Title- As Time Goes By**

**Author- garretelliot and GoddessOfSnark**

**Disclaimer- If Allan and Tim are looking to get out of the biz, we'd be more than happy to take over. Until then the characters and show concept are the property of Tailwind Productions et al. We own nothing but fertile imaginations and an inability to give up playing with other people's toys.**

**Authors' Note- This is pretty darned well fluffy with only a bit of angst. Just some more of our mutual obsession with the Garret/Jordan ship. Enjoy and don't forget to review.**

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Garret Macy looked up at the clock. Quitting time, or close to it. Almost time to go back home to an empty apartment. The one thing he wanted to do least. He tried to think of something to do and someone to do it with. He had stuck Bug and Sidney together on the graveyard shift with the hope that the two would do a better job of working together. Lily had a date tonight with Seely and as much as he hated the arrogant young detective, the boy did seem to make her happy. Nigel had a date with someone or something that he didn't even want to know what. 

Which left Jordan. He looked up and through the window and across the hallway to see her sitting at her desk, head nodding in time to whatever upbeat tune she was listening to. He hadn't gone out for dinner with just her in what seemed like ages. The last several times it had been with her and Woody.

She normally would be spending the evening going out with Woody, but he had seen almost nothing of the man since he had told Jordan to leave. He seemed quite willing to uphold his own end of things by staying away from her so long as she stayed away from him. Which meant that Garret saw far more of Seely than he would have liked, but if it meant that Jordan wasn't forced to see the man who had hurt her, so much the better.

He got up and walked across the hall, knocking twice on the door frame, startling her out of her music. "Hi. Got plans tonight?" He asked and she looked up at him with a grin.

"If you're asking me to work, yes. If you're going to save me from going back to my apartment no." Jordan pulled her hair down from the sloppy bun and ran her fingers through it. Garret smiled and leaned against the door frame.

"Italian?" He asked and she thought about it and nodded.

"Sounds good to me."

"You think anyone would notice if we leave early?" He joked as she stood and grabbed her bag. Jordan grinned and looked at her clock.

"Considering it's only 20 minutes, no. Besides, what can they say, you're the boss?" He chuckled and she walked over, easily wrapping herself against him as his arm encircled her waist and one of her own snaked around him.

It had been a rough week with more boring cases than either of them would have liked, but it had finally ended, and ending the week with dinner would be much better than ending the week with going home to two empty apartments and staying there for the rest of the night.

Dinner was something that passed by easily and quickly, both of them avoiding the one topic that would spell doom, and that was relationships. He didn't want to send her off the deep end since she looked like she was finally starting to recover from Woody telling her that he never wanted to see her again. The last thing Garret wanted to get her anywhere near thinking about that.

Instead they found themselves talking about everything but their love lives and respective failures at them. Comments on the fact that the Yankees had no chance in beating the Sox, how for the end of August it was surprisingly nice out, and the annoying lack of murders when compared to accidental and other boring deaths.

"If I have to do one more autopsy for an insurance company I'm going to scream. It's no fun when you don't have a murderer to catch." Jordan was only half joking.

He grinned. He knew the feeling. It was nice not having to do a lot of real work, but too long without having to think, to help solve a crime was something that made him get just as fidgety and bored as Jordan. Although he would never show it the same way she did; he preferred to at least attempt to channel that boredom into something productive.

She on the other hand, became almost unbearable, bouncing off the walls with energy that she couldn't expend on tracking down a murderer, jumping on anything and everything that looked like it could possibly put her sleuthing skills to the test. It was annoying at times, but he was glad to see that energy return, it was a sign that she was bouncing back from being crushed.

After dinner was finished and the two of them spent five minutes arguing about whose turn it was to get the bill, neither one of them wanted to leave. It was only the angry, impatient looks of the wait staff around them that got them up and out.

"You wanna go get drinks? There's someone who's supposed to be the next Etta James singing at Wally's-" He trailed off and she grinned, again walking with her arm around him.

"Sounds like a fun way to end the night." She agreed and they walked back in the same direction they had come from, turning down another two streets before winding up in front of the small bar and club.

The singer on stage certainly lived up to what was promised, singing jazz classics better than some of the original artists. He was halfway through his glass of scotch when the singer disappeared for a small break and the band behind her launched into Charlie Parker. He didn't like the gleam in Jordan's eye. "C'mon Gar, dance with me." He shook his head.

"No." He said simply, taking another sip of his scotch.

"It was your idea to come here, I wanna dance, and I'm not going to dance alone." Amber eyes met brown ones and he sighed, allowing her to drag him out to the dance floor. They had no sooner reached it than the blond woman walked back out, taking up her place at the microphone.

He had to bite back a groan at the familiar piano intro, it was just his luck for As Time Goes By to start up as soon as he reached the dance floor. Neither one of them needed to be reminded of lost love right now and he started to suggest they sit this one out. But she had already wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him no choice but to wrap his arms around her waist and sway in time to the music.

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A/N- Okay, folks, you know the drill. There's that lonely little button just sitting there and two lonely writers waiting to hear what you think of our prose. So what are you waiting for, c'mon live a little. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer- If we owned them you'd know it from the sound of maniacal laughter as we contemplated evil plot twists. **

**Author's Note- Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far. And yeah Jules, it's fluff with a hint of angst later, but don't worry, garretelliot is not allowing the Goddess to do the angst fest. We'll be trading point of view between Garret and Jordan for much of this fic, but wherever possible we will use a header to tell you whose head we're in. A virtual quarter to the person who can guess who wrote which POV. **

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Garret's POV**

This is the only way to enjoy this song. A woman in your arms; moving gently to the soft, sweet remembrance of love and why it's the driving force in life. How many fights for love have I lost in my life? And yet I'm always willing to try again. Maggie, Lily, Rene. I cared about each of them, wanted something real, something permanent. I still believe that somewhere out there is someone for everyone. Jordan believed that Woody was that someone for her. I'm not so sure that's no longer true. Given time, I think the kid will come around, if she wants him back.

How could any man turn his back on a woman like her and walk away without a backward glance? She's a woman worth fighting for and I'm glad to have a friend who understands me as well as she does. We've known each other for so long; we can finish each others sentences and communicate with just a look. Jordan can make my day with a smile or ruin it just as easily. It's good to have a friend that you know will always have your back.

How many times have we done this sort of thing, one of us broken, bleeding from every pore and the other there to lean on? Binding each others broken hearts and pouring commiserative drinks until the pain begins to fade? Too many times to count, although it's usually Jordan propping me up. She never really gave her heart to anyone, opening up to Woody was a huge leap of faith for her; I just hope I can be enough to catch her on the way down.

Please God don't let her run again, I don't think she'd come back this time. Max is gone and Woody's pushed her away. There's not much to hold her in Boston now. If she ran it would kill me, I need her in my life. Jordan understands me better than anyone I've ever known. She knows there are days when I wonder why I bother to get up. Those are the days she usually shows up with a bottle and pesters me until I can't help but smile. She brings out the fun, silly side of me like no one else can.

She is also the only person in the world who knows my secret love of British comedy. How many nights has she watched The Young Ones or Monty Python with me. Jordan is probably the only person on the planet who knows that I know all the words to the Lumber Jack Song.

She knows how much it had cost me to let Maggie walk away. I remember how furious she was when I lost my head over my ex-wife; let her back into my life and hurt Lily. She threatened one night to go over and deck Maggie for dumping me again until I told her that this time was mutual. Although secretly there was a part of me that wanted her to; I guess it wasn't that mutual after all. I just bowed to the inevitable.

I should have known Maggie and I weren't going to last from the day I asked her to marry me. She had a funny look in her eye, as if she was saying yes only because she felt obligated to and I suppose that she had felt that way. And Rene and I, there was just as much mutual dislike fueling that relationship as there was lust. The only thing that relationship proved was that angry sex is indeed some of the best sex. I cared for her, but I had known from the start that she didn't want to have to fight for our relationship.

How many times did one of us call the other late at night while Jordan was in LA? Phone calls that spanned hours, the conversations that would usually be five minutes when she was here, because there was so much we could say without speaking. How many times did one of us call the other early in the morning to whine, to complain, or just to hear a friendly voice on the phone? I remember calls where she would simply tell me to turn on the TV and the two of us would sit there, running up a phone bill, watching the same show and talking during the commercial breaks.

There were so many calls that Maggie threatened to name her as co respondent in the divorce. That's the only reason I stopped fighting, I didn't want Jordan dragged through the mud. It was bad enough that I was going through that hell; there was no need to drag her through it as well. I had wanted to make things work; I wanted things to come out right between us. I had loved Maggie. That was my problem, I fell in love too easily and wanted to make everything work, I wanted every relationship I had to last a lifetime.

But I knew that Jordan would put up with being dragged through all of it if I hadn't conceded, right there by my side, as always. Fighting for me in a way I've never seen her do for anyone else. Sure she fights for other friends, but not with quite the same ferocity as she fights for me, or with me. Rene said once that the two of us fought like an old married couple and I suppose we do. I love to fight with Jordan; I know she can take it or give it.

We rib each other with a careless ease born of many years of practice. From the first day we've exchanged that same sarcastic banter, the kind of comments that have those that don't know us staring in disbelief, while those who know us only grin as a second after we trade cutting remarks we're walking down the hall arm in arm, usually with one of us trying to shove the other one off to the side for whatever sarcastic comment had just been added.

I wish I could find someone like her, but then again there's no one else quite like Jordan. She teasingly calls me her bestest girlfriend and while I pretend to get ticked off about it, I'm flattered. I like knowing that she thinks of me as her best friend. I hadn't let on just how much it had hurt to hear her call Woody the only person she could trust when she had awakened to find Malden dead.

There was something comforting in knowing that I was the one that she had turned to every other time, the one that she had turned to now. I look down to see her with a look of serious concentration on her face, and I smile, wondering what exactly she was thinking about. Knowing her, it's a case that's gotten under her skin.

I know it's not Woody, I've seen her when she's been thinking about the boy, there's a look of sad regret, wondering where she went wrong. I know exactly what she feels; I had felt the same thing when Maggie had told me she wanted out. The song ends and we slowly split apart, her arms leaving a cold, empty spot as they dislodge from around my neck.

We head back to the bar to finish our drinks. She looks better tonight than I've seen her in the past few weeks; she looks as if she might possibly be starting to mend her broken heart. I just hope I can be what she needs to help her pull through this mess in one piece.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer- Nope, unfortunately they still belong to Tim, Allan and NBC, darn it.**

**Authors' Note-Again, cookie for you if you can figure out who wrote which chapters. And you know you want to review. To Qfan- I know all the words to Every Sperm Is Sacred and I can so see Garret as being a Python fan.  
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**Jordan's POV**

I swayed in time to the soft music, enjoying the feel of his arms around me. He felt so safe, so secure. The last one I had left to turn to. The only one to have stuck by me throughout everything, the one who never lost his faith in me, the one who was always there, always willing to give me a second chance and to take me as I was. Not trying to make me into his ideal employee, never once really caring about what methods I used to achieve what I did, just so long as I kept those methods on the side of legal. Although he'd did get real pissed when I wound up in a situation where I was staring down a gun, something that has happened far to often for me.

He was my best friend, my protector. I felt so safe, so secure wrapped in his arms, more than I ever did with Woody. Woody made me feel safe, made me feel loved, but it was different from this, this was the feeling of knowing that the man in front of me would gladly lay down his life no matter what, if it came down to it. Not just for me, for all of us. He would do whatever it took to see me happy, saying that when I was happy I worked better, but everyone knew that he did it because he cared.

He was the one person that no matter what, was always there. I thought Woody had been that person, I had turned to him the last time, and even though Garret had made a joke of it, I knew that he had been hurt that I picked Woody over him. But it's not like I'm going to make that mistake again. Woody wants me out of his life, so be it.

He had been the only one willing to hire me again, when others would run in fear of my past job history. We had been there for each other for more things than I could count. The number of early morning phone calls that we exchanged even when I was gone, my calling him up at three in the morning, waking him out of a sound sleep, and yet, he was there for me.

The one who was always there to be my crying shoulder, and I've been his more than once. I answered many a drunken phone call right after Maggie decided she didn't want to be married any more. I was there for him, and he was there for me. Best friends until the end.

There were times that I wondered why he hadn't found someone else. He and Rene hadn't really fit. Although he seemed as if he really cared, as if he wanted to make the relationship work, and she didn't. He wanted to make every relationship he was in work, I had seen him do that, trying to do whatever it took to make the other person happy. Underneath that gruff exterior was a true romantic, hopeful not hopeless. Always searching for love everlasting. He tries to be pragmatic, but when it comes to love, he fails.

He wasn't a bad looking man either. Not exactly George Clooney, or Orlando Bloom, but there was something about him, his charisma, his voice, he wasn't the type of guy that you'd look at and start drooling over at first sight, but the more you looked at him the better looking he was.

It took me a minute to realize just where my thoughts had wandered. Was I really thinking of him that way? No, it was just my wondering why he wasn't seeing someone, why some other woman hadn't snatched him up yet. He was my best friend, I wasn't going to think of him that way. I loved him solely in a platonic way.

He was my bestest girlfriend as I had so often called him. We were just two people cut from the same cloth. We were on that higher plane where only best friends are, able to communicate without speaking. There's been many a boring meeting where that comes in handy, the two of us being able to mock whoever is speaking without them having any clue what we're doing.

We were just in tune to each other. Best friends, nothing more, nothing less. The safety and security I felt wrapped in his arms was just because I knew that I could trust him when I had no one else left to trust. No more Woody, my dad was off and running more often than he was home, leaving no way for me to get to him. He was the last one I had left that I could turn to, the only one to have stuck by me through everything.

Besides, it's not like he'd ever think of me that way. I was his best friend, and there was no way in hell I was going to screw that up because I was on the rebound. That was the only reason I was looking at him. He was a warm body that would make me feel loved. I wasn't going to risk my friendship for that.

I wasn't going to risk losing the last person I had left to turn to because I wanted to lay someone that would even pretend to care. I'd be better off going for the tall, dark, handsome saxophone player on stage. Cold blue eyes and dark hair, looking completely uncaring about anything that wasn't his music. That's what I needed for a rebound relationship. I needed a man who wasn't going to care, someone who wouldn't be hurt when it was over. I just needed someone.

I didn't need to screw up what I had because I wanted someone. He never was going to want me that way, he was a friend, my best friend, he wasn't going to want to jump my bones. I loved him, but it wasn't that way, I was just fooling myself, thinking of how attractive he could be.

I was only thinking of it to wonder why someone else hadn't picked him up, right? Why someone else didn't want him. Why no one else found him attractive, why no one else was drawn to those deep brown-how had Charlie Davis described them? Bogart eyes, that deep gravelly voice, the-

It was time to stop thinking about that. I looked up at his face and noticed a look of deep thought as well. What would he be thinking about? Obviously something had those bushy eyebrows knitted together with only a fine crease separating them, and those lips pursed in thought.

Surely there were plenty of women who wondered what those lips would feel like brushing their own, how the wiry scruff of his goatee would feel against their skin. I shook my head slightly, trying to dislodge those thoughts. This was getting into a weird area. The only thing I was looking for was a fling. I was considering everything I saw sexy.

Testicles and a heartbeat. That's all I was interested in. He was a friend, an easy target, I wasn't going to go after him. But it wouldn't be that hard to take that next step would it? Move from being just friends to something more. Friends with benefits. Something else?

No, we were just friends. That's all. The song ended and I felt strangely cold without his arms wrapped protectively around me. It was just me looking for a rebound guy. Two weeks from now and I wouldn't be wanting him. A few weeks and everything would be back to normal. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we sat there, finishing our drinks and heading back out into the night. Another few weeks and I wouldn't have these thoughts running through my mind, that was all. Another few weeks and we'd be back to the way things were.

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A/N- Huge thanks to all of you who have reviewed and puppy dog eyes for those of you who haven't. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer- Oh how we wish they belonged to us, but as much as we love Allan and Tim, they are selfish and won't give them to us. I mean honestly, we even tried begging.**

**Authors' Note- Thank you all for reviewing so promptly. Reviews in the inbox make the Goddess smile and garretelliot do the Snoppy dance (you know how little self control GE has).  
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**Garret's POV**

I scan the chess board, contemplating my next move. For once we're having a quiet day, a quiet three days actually. Three admits Tuesday, four yesterday and only two today. Even the night shift has been quiet; very few crimes that resulted in deaths have been committed in Boston in the past three days and only five accidental deaths that required the Coroner's office to become involved. So Jordan and I sit here marking time until the graveyard shift gets here, simply being a presence as the regs require. Everyone else had left around lunchtime with the understanding that they were on call until the next shift arrived.

For some reason, I suggested a game of chess. I don't normally play, but today I need a distraction when I'm around Jordan. Ever since yesterday I've been having the most bizarre thoughts about her. I suppose thinking about kissing a beautiful woman wouldn't be considered bizarre by most people, but Jo is my best friend, my buddy. I've never thought of her this way, but yesterday afternoon we were talking over a case and she ran her hand through her hair. Nothing strange about that, but my reaction was completely out of nowhere. I suddenly wondered what it would feel like to run my hands through her hair.

I was pretty amazed that the thought crossed my mind, but last night was even weirder. I dreamed about her, about making love to her. I woke up from a sound sleep, heart pounding. There's nothing more disconcerting than to wake up from a dream of making love to your best friend. Disconcerting, but a nice dream. Jordan felt very right, very good in my arms in that dream. Her skin glowing in the moonlight, her hair draped like strands of raw silk across my chest...

_Okay Garret, snap out of it. This is Jordan, fool, not someone you sleep with. This is your best friend, the one who's always been there for you. The last thing she needs right now is to get the idea you're interested. This is just the dance Friday night and being alone too long. She's got enough on her plate, dealing with the aftereffects of Woody. This is not the time to have a psychotic break and start fantasizing about her._ _My friend, you seriously need to get laid soon, this is getting out of control._

Jordan stares at the clock and rolls her eyes, sighing as though she can't stand the wait. Finally I move my bishop and she leans over to make her move, nearly falling. I grab her as she starts to head for the floor, pulling her back against my chest. I love her, but she can be a complete klutz sometimes. She moves her rook and settles back against me in no hurry to move. Normally this wouldn't even faze me, but today I can't get her out of my mind.

As loudly as the rational side of my brain is yelling for me to sit her upright or get up to pour another drink as an excuse to dislodge her from my lap, I can't. Testosterone is screaming at me to hold on to her, grab her tighter and kiss her. Sweep the desk clean, lay her across it and... _That's it, enough!_

I force my body not to respond to the demands of eons of biological imperative and keep my touch light and casual, but I don't move my arm. No power in Heaven or Hell could make me move that arm away from her waist right now.

Jordan reaches for the glass on the table and takes a sip. I glare at her and tell her if she wants some, she could get up and pour it. I'm amazed that my voice sounds so normal, so completely like any other time I speak to her. To hear my voice you'd never believe that I'm feverishly pursuing the thought of Jordan and the desk, or maybe the couch we're sitting on.

What I believed to be random thoughts are rapidly becoming full blown fantasies about my friend. Maybe I should give Howard Stiles a call and talk this out. As I contemplate the ribbing I'll have to take from Howard should I make such a call and reach forward to put the glass down, Jordan shifts under my arm. I look down to see what's wrong and her lips are on mine, soft and questioning as though she's searching for something. I can't think; hell I can barely breathe.

She pulls back and for almost a minute we sit looking at each other. My brain is still trying to process the fact that Jordan Cavanaugh kissed me, when that old biological imperative kicks in and I pull her close and press my lips to hers. One hand cradling the back of her head, fingers tangled in the silky curls. My other hand holds her close against me as I trace the line of her lips with the tip of my tongue. I can feel my heart beating like a bass drum as she sighs and flexes her fingers, digging into the muscles of my back.

She tastes sweet and smoky, a mixture of spring rain and good scotch, as her lips part, offering her mouth completely. Just as I take the invitation, I hear the elevator doors open; night shift has arrived. We spring apart as though burned and sit on opposite ends of the couch, barely looking at each other.

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**A/N- Hooray for unexpected kisses. I just love Garret when he's being introspective in my mind and yeah, I think the idea of the desk sounds a little uncomfortable but very sexy.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer- Okay, we do own them and we are never bringing Woody and Jordan together. Its gonna be Garret/Jordan from now on. Woody is being demoted to a traffic cop in Southie and …… Oh crap here comes Allan; quick hide the story boards!**

**Authors' Note- Before all the W/J shippers start yelling at us, the above disclaimer is a joke. We actually both agree that while we love our Garret/Jordan ship, it probably wouldn't work too well for the show.**

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**Jordan's POV**

I sat there, feet kicked up on the table in front of me, watching as he toyed with one of the chess pieces on the board. I stared up at the clock, both teasing him for taking so long and realizing that it had, for once, been a slow day. For once, we had some actual downtime in between to just kick back on the couch and be so completely bored as to play chess. Even though the board was always out, he hardly ever played.

He rolled his eyes at my impatient sigh and finally moved. I reached across him, and nearly fell off the couch trying to reach the rook on the far side. Only his arm wrapping around my waist stopped me from tumbling headfirst into the table. It had been an instinctive thing, but still there was something I felt about his touch.

I tried to clear the thought from my mind. Thoughts like that had been running through my mind for the past week. I thought it was just being on the rebound, that once I was fully over Woody they would stop. But they hadn't. As I lay curled against him, using his chest as something of a pillow, I kept thinking about him, about us, about just jumping in with both feet.

It was to the point where I was using his relationship analogies. That was something that he said all the time, that sometimes you just have to dive right into a relationship, not knowing how deep the water is, sometimes you just gotta go in headfirst and pray that it's deep enough not to kill yourself. That was his theory on relationships and I was tempted to take his advice.

It was back to his move, and he studied the board with thought, oblivious to the way I was studying him with the same look on my own face. I had started looking at him only to see why some other woman hadn't snatched him up and somewhere in there, I had found myself wanting to do so. Some point in that night, I had started thinking of him in a way that was different. Started pondering what it might be like to push our friendship into a different direction.

I had written it off as just looking for the nearest warm body, thinking that as soon as I got over Woody, as soon as my self esteem had redoubled that things would be better, that I would stop thinking of him in that way, but even after I had worked with Woody again, I still kept thinking about it.

Woody and I had gotten on surprisingly well. Very cordial, very distant, professionals focusing only on the case and not talking about much else. No fights, no tears, I hadn't felt bad after seeing him walk away, not the way I thought I'd feel.

And no sooner had Woody and I wrapped up the case than _he_ was there, right at my side, making sure I was alright. He had threatened to tie Woody into a knot with his bare hands if I got hurt again, the same way I had threatened to whack Maggie for dumping him again, the same way I had threatened to kill Rene.

He had one arm wrapped around me still, casually, friendly. I took a gulp of his scotch. He faked glaring at me, and commented that if I wanted some I could pour myself a glass. I merely grinned and watched as he made his move before making my own, this time careful not to fall off of the seat as I moved.

I didn't know why I was so aware of his touch, why I was even considering this, why the thought of trying to take the next step was running through my mind. He was my best friend; he had been for over a decade, we had been more than happy to leave our relationship right there.

It felt almost as if my body was betraying me, telling me to find out what it would be like to just lean in and kiss those lips, feel the scruff of his goatee brushing against my chin, to just reach my head up, close my eyes and have my lips meet his. He was so close; it would require just the slightest movement.

But I wasn't going to. I couldn't. I had just been struck down by a man that I thought I loved. But if I loved Woody, how come he seemed so far from my mind right now? Shouldn't I still be mourning the fact that he left me? Still be pissed that he kicked me out of his life?

Instead I kept finding myself thinking about what I wanted in a relationship and some corner in the back of my mind told me that I already had everything I was looking for in a relationship with the man who sat there, my head against his chest. The only thing that we didn't have was wild, passionate sex. But everything else I wanted in a relationship I had with him.

I tried to change my own logic. I had everything I wanted but the wild passionate sex. All I needed was to find someone for the wild passionate sex part and all would be good. I had someone that I loved, if only on a platonic level, a man that I cared for with all my heart but didn't have a romantic relationship with, all I needed was someone to fulfill the romance part of the relationship and I would be happy.

It was strangely quiet, empty. We were the last two left, our shift would be over soon, graveyard would be coming in within a few minutes. I watched as he took a sip of his scotch, fighting back a snort of laughter at the song that had come on as he did so, the line of the song being "How I envy a cup that feels your lips."

It wouldn't be that hard to just lean up and kiss them, would it? Just do it, get it over with, put it behind me and sate my curiosity. My one downfall, once something strikes me it doesn't let me go until I do it, it doesn't let me stop thinking about it until it's done, gone, finished. It wouldn't be that hard for me to just forget about it, for the two of us to act as if it never happened.

It would only be proving to me that we were better off as friends, that I really wasn't attracted to him on that level, that I just loved him as my best friend, that he was so close to me because he was the man that I could trust with my life. That I would do anything for him and he would do anything for me. It would just prove that we weren't right for each other on a romantic basis.

He reached across me to set his glass down yet again, and he was just so close. I looked up and found those deep brown eyes focused on the wooden board in front of him. This was getting rid of all the tension I was feeling, just saying screw you to my imagination and proving to myself that there was nothing there. I gave him one last scrutinizing glance before lifting my head up off of him and when he turned to see what had made me move, I closed my eyes, leaned in and felt my lips meet his.

It was so nice, his lips were so soft and the goatee wasn't nearly as rough as it looked. I hadn't had a kiss as gentle and loving in years, as I broke the kiss and pulled back, I thought that wasn't so bad, but not the kiss you share with a man you're hot for. I guess it was just looking for a warm body.

Garret sat looking at me for almost a minute and just as I began to regret having pushed the boundary, there was a gleam in his eyes and I was pulled forward into another kiss. The first one had been sweet and gentle, all love and caring. This was pure liquid fire; passion, heat and hot, driving sex.

His lips were just short of bruising and as his hand slid through my hair to cradle my head, I felt my toes curling. Garret's tongue slid across my lips and I opened them without thinking. I wasn't thinking at all, just feeling and boy was I feeling good. I've never been kissed like that, as though he were trying to reach my soul and succeeding. I clutched at him, my body wanting more, ready to give everything. Feeling my mind spinning out of control as my body demanded more, more, ALL!

Suddenly the elevator bell dinged and we were on opposite sides of the couch. If my lips hadn't been tingling from the force of it, I would have believed I imagined the whole thing. My brain struggled to make sense of the last few minutes while my body screamed for me to drag him off to a bed, any bed, right now.

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**A/N- Wow, I wanna kiss that man! Whew, sounds like he really knows his way around a pair of lips. Okay cold shower time for me, review time for you guys.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer- Okay so by now you've probably figured out that we don't own them, so don't sue us, we're broke.**

**Authors' Note- Well sometimes people, supposedly intelligent people, completely miss the cues and waste an amazing amount of time, so I suppose we can't really blame them.**

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**Garret POV**

I watch from the corner of my eye as Jordan saunters into the conference room for morning briefing. We've barely spoken since the other evening in my office; I suppose she's regretting the kiss. As for myself, I can't think of anything else; the taste of her mouth lingers on my tongue and my hands flex as though reaching for her. Every glass of scotch I drink, tastes of her instead.

I have slowly come to the realization that I'm falling in love with my best friend. I can't think of anything but Jordan and the only advice Howard gave me when I called him was to go for it. Jump in with both feet and give it a shot, what did I have to lose. Problem is I stand to lose a lot, Jordan matters to me. I don't think I would survive if I made a move and it ruined our friendship.

She sits at the opposite end of the table from me as usual and drinks her coffee. I never thought you could be jealous of a coffee cup, but I am. I want those full lips under mine again; I want to feel those slim fingers clutching my back. Jesus, I'm going out of my mind and the reason for it won't even meet my eyes. I have to talk this out with her, clear the air and get past it or go for it. Either way, something's got to give before I go completely insane.

As the meeting breaks up, she walks toward me. I'm caught like a deer in the headlights, totally mesmerized by the movement of her body across the room, watching her legs whispering past each other. Christ I'd love to feel those legs wrapped tightly...

_Stop it Garret, before you can't get up and move without embarrassing yourself_. Her eyes haven't left mine as she crosses the room. As I look into that clear amber gaze, I suddenly realize that I'm not _falling_ in love, I've already fallen. I can't imagine a day without her in it.

There's an odd look in her eyes and I have a feeling she's trying to think of a way to let me down easy. I don't want to have this conversation, but she doesn't need an old man pining away after her. So this is where I agree that it was no big deal and pretend that things are normal and just the same as they ever were. That the kisses were just two friends trying something new and deciding it didn't fit. She'll never know just how perfectly it fit me; she lay in the curve of my arm as though created to be there.

_Grow up Macy; you don't screw up a good thing for what might be.__At least you have her in your life, take what you can get and move on. Be a man and let her let you go, she needs to be the one in control. She's been dumped by Woody and she doesn't need a hard time from you. No matter what she says, you agree and deal._

I walk across the room and shut the door; I'd rather not have the entire office know what a fool I've been, chasing after Jordan. "We need to talk. " _Jesus, could I sound more like a bad novel_. I'm going for calm and stable but in my ears I sound needy and begging.

I can do this; I can go back to just friends and pretend it never happened. Be good old Garret, her safe harbor in the storm. I can put the hope of more out of my mind and be what she needs. But God, I'd trade my soul for one more kiss.

"Yeah." She says, sitting next to me, so close I can feel the warmth of her skin and I steel myself for what comes next.

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**A/N- Makes you wanna smack him, doesn't it**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer- I dreamed I owned them, does that count?**

**Authors' Note- Okay, Garret's convinced he's screwed, what about Jordan? Thanks to everyone for the wonderful reviews and we hope you keep them up because, well, we are attention hounds.  
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**Jordan POV**

I walked into the conference room, slightly late, but not late enough for him to comment on it. It wasn't my fault the guy at the coffee shop around the corner ran out of cups. I meet his eyes as I walk in, there's something there that I don't quite recognize. It takes all my willpower not to walk over there, wrap my arms around him and kiss the life out of him.

We've hardly spoken since the other day when I said 'Screw this,' leaned in and kissed him. He's seemed to be avoiding me ever since. I thought it would be a good thing, to finally get it out of my system, kiss him and prove once and for all that there wasn't anything there.

But that was the problem, there was some thing there. Since then, the urge to drag him into my office, close the blinds and make good use of my couch had only increased instead of lessened. I only wanted his arms more, not less. Every time I see him the only thing I could think of is the way his lips were surprisingly soft and warm covering mine, how the hair that covered his chin was softer than it looked, his hand tangled in my hair...

It was driving me absolutely insane, thinking about it. But if the past week was any indication of what he thought, then I couldn't. He seemed to be avoiding me as much as possible, avoiding having to think of what I did in his office, no doubt. Trying to push that thought out of his mind.

It was driving the rest of the morgue crazy. Lily had already shipped me off to Stiles, since I wouldn't say what had happened. I didn't need the rest of them knowing that I had given in and kissed the boss and now he tried to avoid me. That I had just potentially screwed up the best friendship I had ever had.

I tried to push that thought out of my mind. Garret was the last thing I had left, I couldn't lose him. I didn't have Woody, I didn't have my father, I had no one left to turn to but Garret, and if I screwed things up forever between us, it was something that I didn't want to think about. I couldn't picture a life without him in it, my best friend, the one that I leaned on because I had nowhere else to turn.

I had been loathed to tell Stiles, but if nothing else, I could trust him. Trust him enough to not screw me over and blab to everyone. Trust him enough to at least try to give me guidance. But his advice was to do the one thing I couldn't do. He told me to just go for it. With a funny little gleam in his eye, as if he was picturing the two of us together and deciding it was a good idea.

He told me to just go for it, no second thoughts, no holds barred. But I couldn't do that. There was too much at stake. We could forget about a kiss, a week from now we could just pretend like it never happened, possibly even completely erase it from our minds, but another kiss? Something else?

Something else, like a proclamation of love. No, I certainly wouldn't say that. The last time I said 'I love you' to someone they told me to leave, and I've only seen him when work required since. Was it even love? I thought I had loved Woody, and what I felt was different from this.

I didn't even know what 'this' was, beyond being completely unable to stop thinking about him. 'This' was my need to be with him, to feel his arms around me. If nothing else to talk to him, I missed those teasing, bantering conversations that we had nearly every day before.

I have to do something about it though, at least tell him that it was a one time thing, lie and say that the kiss meant nothing to me, that we should just forget about it entirely, and go back to acting as if nothing ever happened. The meeting breaks up and I'm the last one left, and I walk over to him.

He looks as if he's trying to think of something to say that won't hurt me, as if he's trying to think of a way to leave or avoid this, or let me down easy. I don't care how he lets me down, I just need to know that this was just a one time thing that it's not going to matter. I just want to move on and find someone else to fall in love with, someone who isn't my best friend. Someone who isn't going to push me all the way to the edge if things to sour. I need him to tell me that it doesn't matter.

But yet, there is the little voice in the back of my head reminding me that he kissed me back. That after I had leaned back, he had sat there with a look on his face that I didn't quite know what to make of, and then leaned in and kissed me again. That he had tangled his fingers in my hair, pulling me close and driving me to the edge of orgasm with just a kiss.

There was that little voice in my head telling me that maybe it wouldn't completely screw things over to just come right out and tell him that he'd been haunting my dreams, to just kiss the life out of him, all consequences be damned. But there was the bigger voice telling me that this was my best friend, that he would only ever think of me as someone that he watched out for, that while he may love me, he would never love me in that way.

Suddenly he seems to regain his awareness of what's going on and he gets up to close the conference room door. He's wearing jeans, he was supposed to have the day off but Nigel was almost hacking up a lung. I couldn't help but stare as he walked, wishing that he would wear jeans more often. If there was one thing that Woody did not compare to him with it was in the butt department. I had commented playfully about it before, but it had never really crossed my mind to realize just how nice it was.

How many times had I playfully pinched, grabbed and swatted it? And now I wanted to, I wanted to just reach out and feel his arms around me. I wanted to just be close to him in some way shape or form. His dark eyes met mine as he sat back down. "We need to talk." He said. The words that were the kiss of doom for most relationships, but they were necessary.

"Yeah." I agreed, sitting down next to him taking a long contemplative gulp of my coffee, wondering what exactly to tell him.

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**A/N- Hey, they're our characters and we want to slap some sense into them too.  
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	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer- Allan, Tim, please oh please can we have them? Okay but can we have Garret for the weekend? We promise to return him and we won't break him.**

**Authors' Note- Well it looks like these two just can't seem to believe in themselves or each other. C'mon guys, have a little faith. **

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Garret's POV**

We sit for what seems an eternity not speaking. I wonder if it's possible to die from waiting. Waiting for the axe to fall, to hear her say that the kiss meant nothing. She runs a finger around the brim of the Styrofoam cup and says 'So'. I hold my breath, hoping and fearing at the same time. I have to be careful not to let anything show on my face. If Jordan realizes how I feel, she'll be crushed. I can't let her hurt over me; she has enough to deal with already.

No matter what she has to say to me, she's still my Jo. My best friend and I'll be damned if I'll see her hurt by anyone. She deserves so much more than she gets. Deserves love and happiness and I'm damn well going to see that she get as little pain as possible.

"So." I repeat, hoping to just get it over with so I can get to my office, where I don't have to worry about her seeing how this is killing me. For a moment I thought I saw something there in her eyes, but it's just me, leading with my heart again. She drops her eyes to the coffee in her cup and takes a deep breath. As she rattles off her plea to just forget the whole thing, I can hardly breathe past the lump in my throat.

Her eyes are back on my face now, time to see if I could have been an actor. I manage to keep my face completely neutral as I feel her eyes searching for any hint that I might tell her to get out the way he did. That I might reject her because she doesn't want more.

_That's not happening, Jo, I'll be damned if I'll be another man who let you down. Another man who walked away just when you opened up. I'm here for whatever you need Jordan, for as long as you need me._

I nod my head and say something in agreement. _Get out now, before you lose it, Macy. Walk away with some small piece of dignity intact and save her the pain of knowing that you want what she doesn't have to give._

Maybe some day I'll be able to look back at this and laugh, but right now I just want a scotch, alright several scotches. I don't give a damn that its 9am, if we weren't short handed with Nigel out, I'd take the day off and get drunk in some low dive. Drink away this pain in my chest and stay drunk until I can smile again.

I start for the door to make my escape and she starts telling me about it. I really can't do this right now. I'm going to lose it if I stand here another minute.

_Great, just lovely. You know, I can't be bestest girlfriend right now, commiserating over the guy she just dumped, cause I'm the guy in question_. I glare at her, cutting off the rest of her thought ramble and make it to my office without any more delays.

I sit in the silence of my office, not even daring to turn on any music. If I heard anything approaching a love song, I would definitely lose it. I just need to hold it in until I get home, a couple of scotches and I'll be alright.

There really is no fool like an old fool; I did it to myself again. Led with my heart and now, I'm regretting it. You'd think I'd have learned after Maggie, Lily, Rene and Charlie Davis. If I had any sense, I'd swear off women permanently. I have the worst track record I've ever seen when it comes to love. I think this is it for me, no more. I'm done. No more falling, I'll stick with one night stands.

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**A/N- We never said there wouldn't be some angst, but will love win out in the end?**  



	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer- Well Allan and Tim wouldn't give us Garret for the weekend so we still don't own any of them.**

**Authors' Note- I haven't heard any complaints about the switching POVs so I guess you guys like it. Thank you so much for all the reviews. We really love hearing what you think. By the way, to those who have expressed interest, the line to slap the crap out of these two forms on the right, but the Goddess and garretelliot have dibs.**

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**Jordan POV**

I sat there, staring at him as he sat facing me, trying to think of what to say that would mean the least amount of heartache for me, the least amount of pain, the least amount of awkwardness. I toy with my coffee cup as I try to think. "So." I start and he stares back at me.

I want to just jump into his arms and pin him to the table, feel that kiss again. But I can't, I won't. I won't screw things up between us. "So." He repeats and I stare down into the black liquid in front of me. I can see his face in the reflection ever so slightly.

"Let's just cut the crap, and forget about everything that happened, alright? We've been avoiding each other for the past week and it's driving everyone else insane. Let's just go on and pretend like it never happened, forget entirely about it." I watch his face closely, for anything.

Nothing. Blank, impassive. I can see the wheels turning in his brain, but he shows nothing. I'm fighting not to just tell him flat out that I want to jump his bones, that if it wasn't for that second kiss, it wouldn't have mattered, but no, there was that second, earth shattering kiss that had driven me insane with wanting it again. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, sucking the soul right out of me.

But that means screwing up my friendship. That means taking a risk I wasn't going to take. I meet his dark brown eyes trying to see what if anything, he's thinking, but he just simply nods in agreement. He seemed to agree with it, with no problem. I was letting myself down easy, saving him the trouble of trying to come up with something that wouldn't sound cold or heartless for not wanting me.

"Right. Forget it ever happened." He agreed and I stood up. It was becoming almost unbearable. I knew I couldn't forget what had happened, but I could act like I had, act like it meant nothing, act like I had felt nothing, move on with my life. I've been good at pretending. And if I keep telling myself it was nothing, I'll start believing it.

He starts walking towards the door, trying to edge his way out, trying to walk out before he'd be forced to tell me off, trying to leave before I would embarrass myself more. But I couldn't help it, I had to say more than that, had to tell him something, give him a reason why, not just that I was forgetting about it, tell him it was over. If I told him it was over, I could believe it.

"It was just a one time thing, I had no clue why I did it and-" He cut me off with a hard glare. I was rambling, trying to explain why I did it, both to myself and to him. I wanted to talk myself into thinking that I had no clue why I did it, that it wouldn't happen again, that it was simply something to sate my curiosity.

But I knew why I did it. I did it because he had gotten under my skin in a way that no one else had. I've had men get under my skin before, I've had them make me want nothing else but to drag them to the nearest bed, couch or patch of carpeting, but this was different. It had never been my best friend before, it had never been a man that I had known, that I had something platonic with before.

Every other man to affect me like that had been someone that I had just met and thought interesting. The last man to get under my skin like that was Tyler, he had been the last one to really get to me, make me burn like I was now.

He retreats back to his office and I retreat back to mine. I sit behind my desk staring at the huge stack of paperwork before me, flipping over one file and actually trying to get work done. Boring, mindless paperwork, something to take my mind off of him. Something to get me to stop thinking about those dark eyes and those soft lips...

I shook my head trying to clear the thoughts from my head. No, I couldn't think about this, I couldn't. It was nothing. It meant nothing. It was just a kiss. I've kissed plenty of men before; some of them had been just like that. It was only a kiss, it wasn't going to affect me this way, it meant nothing, he wanted out of there as soon as possible, he didn't want to be around me, he wanted to retreat back to his office and forget it had ever happened.

And I was going to do the same. Sit here and keep telling myself that it was nothing, that it meant nothing. I force my eyes down to the file and contemplate shutting the blinds; I can look up from my desk and see him. But no, paperwork is calling my name; I really should do it, save myself the trouble of being three months behind in it. Throwing myself into that would at least take my mind off of him, off of anything that wasn't related to dead bodies and their files.

I can forget this and I will. I'll just pretend it never happened pretend I don't want him. Pretend that I can't still feel his lips on mine, his hand tangled in my hair. Pretend that I haven't awakened hot and hungry for him every night since he kissed me. Pretend that my mind doesn't conjure him into my bed every night; that I can't imagine his arms around me; can't feel him pressing against me as we……….

Enough! I have to stop this.

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**A/N- Alright we really need to get these two to talk to each other. Maybe Howard Stiles can help? Oh, Dr. Stiles?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer- Once again, Allan, Tim and NBC get to have the fun on TV, We get to have the fun here, unfortunately that means we don't get to work with Miguel everyday.**

**Authors' Note- Here comes our favorite shrink. (Note to eternalgorithm- those are black leather riding chaps.) Hey Goddess, we converted Keridwen, is that cool or what? Goody another convert, I love spreading the word.**

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**Garret's POV**

I sit behind my desk with a pile of reports in front of me and a pen in my hand, hoping it will keep everyone away. It works for all of a half an hour before a knock at my door pulls me away from thoughts of Jordan and how she felt in my arms. I look up to see Howard Stiles standing in my doorway. Wonderful, just what I need, the company shrink showing up. The man is too damned perceptive and today just happens to be the date we schedule for my psych evaluation.

"Howard, can we do this next week? I'm short staffed and trying to finish these reports before I get tied up in Autopsy all day." _God, did that sound as lame to him as it did to me?_

It must have because he's giving me that penetrating stare of his. The one that says he knows I'm bull shitting and he isn't going to leave until he knows why.

"Garret, sorry but my schedule is full for the rest of the month." He sat down in the chair across from me. "With you still under scrutiny, I don't think we should postpone."

I watch as his gaze travels across the intervening hallway and lands on Jordan. Here it comes, the whole are you going to break out of your self imposed..

"exile and actually try to connect with her or are you going to continue..." Howard's voice becomes a buzz that I tune out as Jordan reaches up and lifts her hair off her neck. I watch her pull it into a bun and shove a pencil through it; I can still feel it in my hands. Feel the shape of her breasts moving against my chest as her breath caught.

"Garret!" Howard's voice pulls me away from the torture of remembering what I'll never have again.

"Yes, Howard. I know, I'm not paying attention and no, I'm not going to talk about it. It has nothing to do with work and I'll get over it, alright. Now, I'm sleeping, I'm eating, no nightmares." I'll be damned if I'll tell him about the dreams of Jordan. I've woken up hard more in the past week than since I was a teenager. "The job is going great; no I'm not dating anyone. Does that cover all your usual questions?"

"Yes, but it very neatly avoids some important information, Garret. How _much_ have you been sleeping? You don't have nightmares, but I get the feeling other dreams are waking you up; other thoughts are keeping you awake. Thoughts like who you'd like to be keeping you awake?" Stiles gives me that insouciant grin of his and winks. "Not that anyone could blame you; she's worth losing sleep over."

"Howard, are you a shrink or a match maker? It isn't going to happen, she told me this morning that it meant nothing and we should forget it." I close my eyes at the sudden shaft of pain in my chest. Admitting out loud that the woman I love isn't interested hurts like hell burning.

"Fascinating." Howard says quirking an eyebrow. "You told her how you felt and she said the kiss meant nothing?"

"No, I didn't tell her. Jordan's got enough pain right now, she doesn't need to add guilt over feelings she can't reciprocate. Now Howard, I really do have to get some work done."

"Garret, I can't believe that Jordan would turn you down cold if you told her how you feel. If you'd just.." I cut him off.

"Howard, it isn't going to happen. Now despite your insistence on belaboring the issue, I really do have a lot to do today and we are short staffed." I can't continue this conversation with him if I want to be able to make it through the day. Much more of this and I'll walk out of here and find the nearest bottle now and screw the job.

I stand and head out the door to Autopsy One hoping he won't follow if I'm working on a body. I'll get the paper work later, right now I'm looking forward to dismembering someone and since doing so to Stiles would not look good on my resume, I'll take a body apart instead.

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**A/N- I think Howard may have pissed Garret off just slightly. Perhaps the good doctor will have more luck shrinking Jordan.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer- Of course we could always kidnap them and hide them away somewhere, but then we couldn't even watch them play on TV. Tailwind and NBC get to have all the fun, we just have to play behind their backs. We still don't own them.**

**Authors' Note- There is an end in sight and we promise it will be worth it. A cookie if you get the reference to a peanut butter sandwich. GE didn't at first until the Goddess explained it, at which point GE felt really dumb.**

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**JORDAN POV**

I look up from my desk with the feeling of eyes boring into me. I half hope it's him, but instead it's another bald man, one who I don't particularly want to see right now. "Hi, Howie." I say to him and he sits down on my couch across from me.

"Hello Jordan." He says and keep staring at me as I try to ignore him. Eventually I can't stand it anymore.

"What do you want?" I ask him and he grins.

"To know why things are so hellish for you recently? Relationship problems?" He grins and I fight back the urge to slap the little man. He knows full well what was going on, I had confided in him before. "With most people, sleeping with the boss is the problem, but of course, you have to be the different one who has the problem with not sleeping with the boss."

I turn back to the file on my desk, trying to ignore him and what he would have to say. "It's not something I'm going to do, I jumped in and sank." He grinned.

"So now you're drowning in emotion?" I glare at him, gripping the pencil in my hand far too tightly, thinking of it as his neck. I stare back down at the file before shutting it and trying to find something else to stare at.

"You're jumpy, have you been sleeping?" I nod.

"Yes, I have, no nightmares." I wasn't going to tell him that most of my dreams left me less refreshed, each one featuring the man across the hall, sometimes doing what we always do, talking, laughing, but also there are the dreams where he's doing wonderful, inventive things to my body.

"Right. So the only problem you have is that you're so wrapped up in your unrequited love that your life is suffering."

"My life is not suffering." I tell him. It wasn't. I was perfectly okay. Except for the dreams and an unrequieted lust for my best friend.

"Is it?" He asks and I ignore him. My gaze is drawn across the hall as he walks back in, pulling off his scrub shirt, his undershirt getting partially caught on it and I catch a small glimpse of tan skin and a surprisingly flat stomach as he pulls a nice button down shirt back on.

He looks so calm, so relaxed as he kicks his feet up on the desk and leans back, tapping the arm of his chair in rhythm to whatever he was listening to. I don't hear Stiles calling my name for a good minute.

"You, my dear, are hopelessly in love." I stare down at the desk.

Was that what this was? Love? It felt different from what I ever felt for Woody. This was deeper, more personal.

"Unrequited." I tell him and he grins.

"Ah, the joys of unrequited love. Let me buy you a peanut butter sandwich in sympathy." It takes me a minute to get the reference, and once I do I have to smile, slightly. "But did I not give you advice?"

"I'm not going to take it. I'm not going to lose my best friend because I want him." He grins a Cheshire cat grin, as if he knows something that I don't.

"You never know until you try. You know what they say-the man who never gets hurt is the one who never really lives. Are you going to live your life or be afraid of it?" He gets up and begins to walk out.

"Why does it concern you so much?" I ask him as he reaches the doorway and he grins.

"Because, my dear, as much as I enjoy you being completely psychotic as it pads my coffers quite well, I'd rather see you happy. And I can't resist getting involved with relationships." He walks out with a little wave, leaving me alone. I wasn't afraid of my life. Just of losing the one person that meant the most to me.

But suppose I didn't lose him, suppose he felt the same?

_Yeah right, that's why he couldn't wait to get out of your sight this morning. He loves you so much he can't stand to be around you. That makes a lot of sense, Jordan Marie._

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**A/N- Well that didn't work, I guess we have to breakout the rubber hose and beat them.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer- Still not ours.**

**Authors' Note- Well there's not going to be much more to this one, just one more chapter after this. It appears that certain members of the morgue staff have been paying attention and are hatching a plan. When Lily and Nigel put their heads together, be afraid, then stand back and watch the fun.**

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Nigel and Lily sat side by side through the staff meeting, watching Garret and Jordan avoid each others eyes yet again. For the past several days they'd both noticed that neither their boss or his best friend were speaking to each other or making eye contact. Yet each time one would look away the other would be staring with a look of longing and regret.

Nigel and Lily both knew something needed to be done. There was far too much tension in the air to avoid and ignoring it was impossible. Something had happened between the two best friends and they needed to fix it, it some way, shape or form.

"So what's your idea luv?" Nigel asked her after they'd left the conference room and settled in his office. The lanky Brit leaned back in his chair, as she sighed and shrugged.

"That's it, I don't have one. We've forced them both to see Stiles, and that didn't help, they still avoid each other like the plague and neither one of them will tell us why." Lily thought about it for a moment. "We need to force them to get over whatever fight they had and suck it up and deal."

Nigel broke out into a broad grin. "Well, we may not be able to force them to get over it, but we can force them to be somewhat civil to each other. At least for a bit." Lily's grin matched his own.

"How would that be?" She asked him and he leaned in to whisper with a mischievous grin on his face and the more he told her the bigger and broader her grin got.

**GARRET's POV**

Of all the possible times for the number of calls to drop this is the worst. If we were busy, avoiding the issue would be easier, but these slow days are killing me. I walk in each morning and the first thing I see is Jordan. Every damned morning since she told me she wanted to forget the kiss, she's been hanging around downstairs as I come in. I suffer through the morning elevator ride and the car is filled with her perfume. I try to think of something to say but I'm afraid that if I speak when we're alone I'll blurt out everything. So I ride up in silence and head to my office as quickly as possible, if I'm behind a closed door she's less likely to pop in and strike up a conversation.

As the day wears on I can't seem to escape her, until Lily asks me to help her get the files moved to the new file room. This is just the kind of scut work Jordan despises, so I don't think I'll have to worry about her for a while. I spend an hour getting the movers to put the new file cabinets in the right place and then settle in to begin the tedious task putting away the files.

I hear footsteps behind me and smell her perfume. I give her a smile, but can't think of anything to say that doesn't begin and end with I love you. I turn back to the files and pray she finds something else to do, but a few minutes later there she is again with another stack of files, nearly dropping them on the floor. I grab them and we start putting them away. For a brief moment her hand is laid over mine as we reach for the same file and I feel as though I've been struck by lightening.

I don't know how much more of this I can take without breaking. I haven't slept more than an hour at a time since that kiss. I drift off and dream of her, not always about sex, sometimes just about being with her, talking, holding her. I can't forget the feel of her lips, the smell of her perfume. I'm going out of my mind and she doesn't even notice it.

I need her in a way I've never needed anyone before, being around her is hell, but not being around her is worse. I spent the weekend prowling my apartment and counting the hours until Monday morning. The hours left until I could breath again, feel again.

_Macy, you are pitiful. You're dangerously close to being obsessed and it's making you maudlin. Get out and find someone to date. Get laid and get her out of your Goddamned mind._

I wonder if it's possible to die from unrequited love. I've never done the autopsy of anyone who died of a broken heart. Maybe I'll make medical history and be the first. While I'm contemplating just how you would write up that death certificate, I hear the door swing shut behind us.

"What the hell?" I turn as she walks to the door and tries it. It opens a crack. She tries pushing, but it doesn't move any further. I move over beside her and try. After a couple of futile attempts, Jordan looks out through the crack and begins pounding on the door. I know too well that unless someone is standing in the hall, nobody will hear her banging. I pull out my cell phone and pray I can get reception.

As I dial Lily's number, Jordan continues to pound, stopping as I hear Lily answer. She is obviously in the hall and enjoying this far too much. This is not what I need today, Lily deciding to 'force' us to kiss and make up. The problem is, I'd love to get into the kissing part but it would hurt Jordan if I pushed it and I'm never going to see her hurt again if I can stop it.

After Lily walks off laughing at the two of us yelling at her, Jordan slides down the wall and sits. There's no point in standing around until Lily decides to let us out and unfortunately my cell has lost signal so I can't call anyone else. I sit down too and wonder how in the hell I'm going to be around Jo without making a fool of myself.

"I'm going to kill her." Jordan says with a wicked grin. She's trying to pull me into our old banter and I can't resist.

"I'll help." I grin at her.

As she plans how to murder Lily and get away with it, I watch her, drinking in her face and the sound of her voice. God I've missed her, but I don't know what to say that won't give me away. The minute she realizes how I feel she's going to be hurt. I don't want her to hurt for me.

"Have we really been avoiding each other that much?" She says as I realize she'd been silent for some time. Shit, I've been sitting here staring at her, probably with my feelings written all over my face.

I turn and stretch out so I don't have to face her. Unfortunately that puts me right beside her, close enough to smell her unique scent.

"We need to do something about this." I say and she nods. I want nothing more right now than to kiss her even if only once more.

"We've let this get out of hand." I say, trying to forget the image in my mind. She nods again and I notice her eyes keep drifting away from mine.

This whole conversation is really getting to her, she must suspect how I feel and even without me saying it, she's uncomfortable. "Forgetting doesn't seem to work." Her eyes seem to light up, but I suppose that's my imagination. She's saying something but I've been so busy trying to think of a way out of this mess that I haven't heard her.

She's looking me square in the eye now and all I can do is remember how she felt in my arms. I wish that we could just turn back the clock so I could have that kiss one more time. She continues talking but all I can do is look at her mouth as it moves and suddenly I lean in and kiss her softly, Just one more kiss and I'll put it out of my mind for good.

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**A/N- Well someone is certainly feeling sorry for himself, but at least he kissed her again. Now on to Jordan Marie's thoughts on the matter.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer- By now I'm sure you know but for those who missed the last 12 chapters, they do not belong to us.**

**Authors' Note- This has been too much fun and each and every person who reviewed is getting a cyber hug right now, of course if you happen to be male you're also getting a cyber kiss. If you're Miguel Ferrer, you're getting a big cyber... Okay, I think we'd better stop or lose our T rating and have to go post on adult fanfiction.**

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**JORDAN's POV**

I walk through the halls more than a little annoyed. I could be doing an autopsy on a murder right now. If there was one. One slow week had stretched into another. The only murders that had come through were some gang kids who had shot each other, case closed. So here I am doing scut work, running back and forth giving Lily a hand moving all the files from her office to a bigger, more spacious file closet, devoted to nothing but old autopsy reports to save her office some space.

I drop off a stack of files to find him there, doing his part in trying to get the new file cabinets in with minimal damage to the walls. The guys dropping them off seem to want to just shove them in not caring about the fact that there is solid matter behind where they're going. He smiles briefly at me, but says nothing, and I merely drop off the stack and head back for round two.

I drop off the next round and decide to start putting them away. Lily can do all the walking, she's the one that was complaining about the space they were taking up, she can do the difficult work. He gives me a hand with them, and for a minute, there's skin on skin and I fight back a shiver. I've been trying to keep him out of my mind but it's so hard. I keep trying to forget about what happened, I've been telling myself that it was nothing.

We hear the door slam shut and both turn around with a bit of a startled jump. I walk over to open it again and find there's something in the way of the door. I try to give it a push and it stays stuck. He comes over and tries it for himself with the same results. It wasn't locked but there was something blocking it. I peek out of the small crack to see what was blocking the way and found it to be one of the brand new file cabinets. Great. Just great.

I pound on the door, listening to it reverberate through the metal as he pulls his cell phone out of his pocket. I hear Lily appear, on the phone with him.

"Jordan? Garret?" She calls and we both shout. "Look, the guys moving the stuff just went out to lunch. So you're stuck there. Just think, it'll give you a chance to get over whatever fight you had and get back to at least talking instead of avoiding each other." Both of us started screaming at her at once and she walks away, laughing.

I slide down the wall and sit there. "I'm going to kill her." I said simply and he smiled.

"I'll help."

"Just think, we could get away with it too. We'd just proclaim it to be an accidental death; she happened to fall on a bed of knives." He chuckled and I sprawled out on the floor. Might as well make myself comfortable while we were stuck here. I watch as he kicks his legs out and leans back against the wall. We stay silent for a long time.

"Have we really been avoiding each other that much?" I ask. It didn't feel it. I was so wrapped up in telling myself that it was nothing when I was around him that every time I was around him was both heaven and hell rolled into one and felt like one time too many. He spins around to mirror my pose, sprawled out, staring up at the ceiling. Our heads are just inches from each other, I could lean over and kiss him.

But I'm not going to. As much as I want to, I want the repercussions even less. Lily seemed quite pleased with the fact that we were stuck in here, she wanted to see us clear the air. Kissing him would only make things worse, not better. As much as I wanted to, it would only further muddy the waters between us. He didn't want this, I didn't want to screw things up more.

"We need to do something about this." He says, and I nod. We do. I can think of plenty of things that I would like to do, but all of them would make the situation worse. I turn to face him and his head turns at the same time. He's so close, I can feel his breath. I'd only have to move ever so slightly to feel those lips. It would certainly be doing something about it. Something to make things worse, but it would be something.

I meet his eyes trying to come up with something to say, as he speaks suddenly. "We've let this get out of hand."

I agree. We have. It was only a kiss. The best kiss of my life, or one of them, but only a kiss, nothing else. I keep staring at those lips, trying to meet his eyes, but my eyes are constantly drawn that little bit further south. It would be so easy for me to lean in.

"Forgetting doesn't seem to work." He says.

Did that mean what I hoped it meant? No, of course not. That was just my mind wanting to think that it did. It was just me trying to convince myself that he wanted this just as much as I did. He had avoided me, he had been perfectly willing to accept the forgetting, he was trying to leave when I was talking about how it was just a kiss, wanting to be as far away from me as possible.

"Well, if we can't forget it and move on, accept it and move on." I told him. "If we can't forget it, well, it happened, we can't change that, but there's no reason we have to act so childish about it."

He seemed to agree. I forced my eyes to meet his, the dark chocolate depths. Deep, rich, brown. There was something there, something that I didn't quite recognize, but something that seemed to draw me in.

"I mean, we're both adults, we can both easily move on with our lives, right?" I continue on and he nods. "Dooley Wilson put it best, a kiss is just a kiss, it doesn't mean anything else." I pointed out. I'm rambling again, wanting nothing more than to kiss him and I keep my mouth running so that my lips don't close on his. I should turn away, roll over, sit up, anything, and just as I begin to, I feel his lips close on mine.

It's soft and gentle, restrained. It feels so good, so surprising. It takes me a minute to comprehend exactly what is going on and once I do, I lean into it, wanting more. I gently run the tip of my tongue across his bottom lip and catch it with my teeth then slip my tongue into his mouth meeting his, he tastes faintly of coffee and I roll closer towards him, on top of him and he doesn't seem to mind at all.

It feels so good, so right, so natural to be here, on the floor, kissing him. He feels so right beneath me, one calloused hand caressing my cheek, tangling in my hair. It feels so much more right with him than it ever did with Woody, so much more electric, more passionate, more raw, but most of all, right.

We finally break the kiss and he's staring into my eyes. "I think that rules out forgetting." I tell him and he grins, a broad grin that I hadn't seen cross his face in far too long.

"Well, I was doing a lousy job of it anyway." He said.

"You know relationships scare the hell out of me, don't you, Garret." He tightens his arms around me. "I'm just no damn good at them, casual sex I'm good at but not relationships."

"So does that mean if you become good at relationships, you'll be bad at sex?" He gives me that sexy pirate grin of his.

"Garret, sex is like pizza, even when it's bad it's good." I feel him laughing underneath me and I kiss him again.

After we break the kiss he holds me away from him and looks in my eyes with a very serious expression.

"I'm not going anywhere, I won't walk away and I won't push you away. I'm here, Jordan and this where I'm staying."

He holds me close and I know that he's trying to tell me it's okay to let go and love. That's my Garret, even if I turned him down, he'd still want me to let someone into my heart. Because that's the kind of man he is, the kind you can trust to be there. I know that as my secrets and fears have always been safe with Garret, I'm safe too. Right where I belong, in his arms.

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**A/N- Thanks for your time and you can leave a review at the appropriate place.**  



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